I can’t imagine that anyone LIKES to talk about mental health. I know for sure, I don’t. It was so hard for me to even tell King (my husband) that I needed help.
I had just found out that I might have cancer and I was angry. I was lashing out at everyone. I found myself with a very short fuse and I couldn’t control my emotions. Between my 1 year old doing normal stuff that 1 year olds do, and King not moving on MY timeline, I had been increasingly testy. Every little thing that didn’t go the way I wanted it to made me angry and I would go off for the most trivial of things. I was getting frustrated with myself because after a few minutes of reflection, I realized how irrational I had become. I apologized of course. But no one really ever forgets what you say when you are mad. That’s when I realized that I needed help. It took me a while but eventually, I took the first step and asked for it. King was so supportive that he actually called and got an appointment with my PCP scheduled for me.
Fast forward to today. I met with my PCP. I was nervous the entire drive–picking at my fingernails the whole 7 min wait, and shaking my leg while I waited for my doctor to enter the room.
How was I going to tell him something was wrong.
Am I bipolar? Is that what I tell him I need help for?
What kind of questions is he going to ask me?
I don’t want to be medicated.
I don’t even know how to describe how I feel!
Maybe I am lucky to have seen the doc I did, but this was the easiest consult ever. He validated my feelings. He asked the right questions. He asked me what I needed. He told me it was Okay and that WE would come up with a plan.
I walked out of there confident that my healthcare team is on my side.
All that was to say, if you need help, ask for it. It is available. It’s Okay. And there is nothing wrong by doing so. Oh and, it’s really easy to have the conversation once you start it.